The Last Supper....

I have decided that tomorrow is the day.  The mail has not come, UPS hasn't brought anything and I'm still fat.  Actually, I am fatter than I was before I decided to order this diet.  I spent the last month eating "for the hunger to come."

The clock is ticking though and it's a few days until I am 49.  That number stuns me and I can't believe it.  I will be 49...almost 50.  That seems so old although in my head, but honestly,  I don't feel that old.  Sure I'm slipping a little but sometimes I feel like I still got it.

But, the weight thing has been an issue since I was a teen.  I remember thinking I was fat then and I wasn't...I was regular.  Now at 49, there is no getting around the fact that being 40 pounds up slows me down.  It almost has me at a full stop.

Tonight, I made bbq beef brisket and baked potatoes.  My son and I sat down, said our prayers before dinner and I looked at my food.  I sat for a minute, which I never do and looked for the power it had over me.  Where was it?  Why do I feel so good when I am chewing and tasting?   I thought about it for a minute or two and dug in.  It was good and I had probably three buns full along with the baked potato full of butter and sour cream.  It was good but not earth shattering...

Then I told my son that I was starting tomorrow...a new way of life.  "What are you gonna do mom?" he asked.  I told him how I was gonna do this diet and follow it and write stuff down and I was gonna stick to it.  "Well, it's good you have a plan" he said as he rolled his eyes.  He's 16 and has seen me bigger (although not too much) and much smaller on a year by year basis.  I get his disbelief in the whole process.

What he doesn't get it that I am getting winded when we play basketball, and I can't even begin to keep up with him like I used to.  I can hardly get off the couch and forget riding my snowboard or backpacking into the high country.  Enough is enough.

So tomorrow is the day, the first day of the rest of my life.  I decided not to post the actual poundage to protect the lives of the innocent but will post the losses.  I also think I will talk a little about the daily grind.  

If you are in the same boat, let me know...and we can tawk.  I have no magic, no tips and no easy fixes...but I do have hope.  I need to have hope.  I am almost 49 and need get my "physical" act together in the next year...

I am keenly aware of time and of happiness and of what's important.   Good  health is important and being able to get outside and move is important and being here with your family is important.  I figure the only way to try to beat the odds is to get my weight down and hope for the best...

As the disciples sat around the table for the last supper, Jesus broke bread, (which is really bad for you they say)  and said take and eat, this is my body given up for you...then he took the cup, drank ( also bad for  you, they say) and said this is my blood given for you.  Listen, whatever you think about Jesus...every picture I've seen is of him thin...

So here's to the last supper...no bread and no wine...just health and wellness and doing what stirs your soul...besides eating!

May you see less of me next time,
Love,
Terry